Lindsay Lohan’s Mysterious Car Crash
Like most major events that have changed the world in history, there will always be people who ask questions and delve deeper to find the truth.
Was 9/11 really a terrorist attack, or an intricate plot to claim millions in suspected insider trading?
Was John. F Kennedy really assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald, or was he simply a pawn in the CIA’s web of lies?
Well, the next big conspiracy to debate comes in the form of Lindsay Lohan‘s recent car crash.
Late last Friday afternoon Lindsay and her assistant were driving in a rented Porsche Carrera when they collided with an 18-wheeler on a southern Californian highway. Lindsay and her assistant both escaped with only minor scratches and bruising, and claimed the car brakes had failed.
Despite this claim, James, the man who was driving the truck, is seeking damages from the star, apparently hiring a lawyer to fight for the pain and trouble he went through. You know, the pain and trouble you get when your big truck is rear-ended by a tiny car.
According to TMZ James has admitted that Lindsay’s assistant took him aside after the crash and offered him a sum of money to ‘keep him quiet’ and not involve police.
“The guy took me across the street and told me this was some kind of famous person and they didn’t want to be in the media. But I’d already called 911 because they were trying to get away from the scene.”
Here’s where the plot begins to thicken: Shortly before Lindsay was taken away from the scene, her assistant removed a mysterious pink bag from the Porsche, reportedly saying “don’t mention the bag to the cops.”
I’m sure he did some shifty eyes, spoke into a microphone on his shoulder, and a helicopter transported him and Lindsay away.
Not only that, but at the time of the accident Lindsay told officers she was not behind the wheel, but her assistant was actually driving. Her assistant later told authorities that Lindsay was driving.
This surely leads to a number of questions that need investigating.
1) What was in this mysterious pink bag? Drugs? Weapons? A body?
2) Did Lindsay’s car brakes really fail, or did somebody set her up?
3) How much did Lindsay’s assistant offer James?
4) What injuries could James have possibly sustained in his gigantic truck?
5) Is James just a giant pussy disguised as a person?
6) Who was driving the car? Were either of them?
The truth is out there…